I feel like I just need to get some thoughts out of my head. Get them somewhere other than in my head.

Yesterday my little boy died. 

He's gone. I can never hold him again, hug him, tell him how my much I love him and how proud me makes me. 

I don't know what to do... I just keep having to remind myself to breath. That is all I can do, just breath.

In an instant my Zachary was taken away from me an now somehow I am supposed to keep going.

I don' know how to keep going. No one knows how to keep going. I keep asking people "What am I supposed to do?" and nobody knows. 

I keep going from not believing this is all real to being so completely filled with sadness I can't even hold my self up. I just fall to the ground in a heap.  

How do you go on when your baby is gone? I don't know. I know I have to. I know I have to take care of Miles. I have to make sure that he as amazing and happy as Zachary was. I know Zach would want me to take good care of his baby brother for him. 

I have to take care of myself... that's hard. 

How does life go on? 

I wish I could just Freeze time at yesterday morning when Zach was still here.  When I hugged him goodbye yesterday morning I told him I loved him and I just remember holding him and thinking what an amazing man he would grow up to be.  Now he is gone. I not going to get the chance to watch go and shape into that amazing man.

I try not to think about how it happened. I am just trying to remember who he was and every little bit of life he had, every reason why he was so amazing.

It is possible that I need a 12 step program....

I am coming to the realization that I might have a problem. I am thoroughly and completely addicted to fabric. I am also developing an understanding and acceptance for this addiction.

I love fabric, not just fabric, I love vintage fabric. I can also love Japanese and designer fabrics. It all depends on my mood. For the most part my problem is vintage fabric. I have a lot maybe not as much as other but too much for the little bit of space that I have.

I decided recently that I was ready to purge some of my over abundance of fabric. So, I went through and found all of my fabric hiding spots and sorted it out.
What I am now left with is this….


A giant pile of fabric! I had planned on listing it on ebay but after doing a few auctions I am just annoyed with it. So I have decided to destash it in my etsy shop instead. I have it all grouped up in cute little bundles ready to list


Now I just need to find the time to list them
I the mean time I will continue my unstoppable fabric buying sprees.

Los Angeles Wallets

I had posted a while back some Los Angeles prints that I had done. Well I finally gave them new life. I thought I would share what I did. I am excited to do some more. Maybe in differnt colors but I just love the way the came out.